Inside My Shadows
by justagirl8225
Summary: An unexepected loss sends a ripple through a group of friends. [On Hold]
1. Pull Me Under

**Inside My Shadows**

**Disclaimer: **I disclaim, period.

**Spoilers: **Nada.

**Rating: **T, for stuff.

**Pairings: **Not really important, trust me.

**Summary: **A terrible accident leaves Lita stranded in the shadows of her tormented mind. Can anyone save her? Even from herself?

**Notes/Warnings: **there is a character death in this piece, matter of fact, it happens in this chapter. If you don't like it, then don't read the piece. Don't leave me a review asking me, why did I do it? It's my story, my plot, capiche? Currently storylines/angles/real life scenarios are being ignored, come to think of it, I have no set starting time for this piece. Consider this another piece with a mix between scripted and non. Real names used because I feel like it. Rosters are joined simply because it makes it easier for me to write.

…………..

**Prologue: Pull Me Under**

_7:30 a.m., Sanford, North Carolina_

A contented sigh escaped Trish Stratus as she crept out of the bedroom of Amy Dumas' Sanford home. Her fiancé, Randy Orton, was still sleeping soundly, .. More than likely exhausted from the engagement party Amy had just hosted last night. One of the many guests, Chris Irvine, was sleeping in the guest room across the hall. The blonde Diva tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, peering in on the blonde man before she made her way downstairs. A soft smile appeared at the corners of her mouth, four more of the guests were dispersed haphazardly on the couch and the chairs. She caught sight of Lisa Marie's raven locks on the couch, Jason Reso's body was curled up on a chair whilst Lillian Garcia was curled up in another chair. And on the floor, Trish caught sight of John Cena; her fiancé's best friend and designated best man in their upcoming wedding. Or at least he would be when they asked. Granted yes, John had been informed before hand, but the official announcement had been made last night. At any rate, the Canadian Diva navigated through the house, making her way to the kitchen. Her eyes fell first on the dirty dishes and glasses lining the counter; the blonde woman figuring that Amy was just too tired to start cleaning last night. Then again, Amy, Jeff and Matt had played taxi last night .. Taking guests back to the nearby hotel when the party finally ended.

They had said they would be back, or at least Amy would be; once Jeff and Matt had been dropped off in nearby Cameron. It wasn't that far from Cameron to Sanford, .. But then the blonde figured that Amy may have just decided to stay the night with Matt or Jeff. Whatever the case, she finally turned her attention to the dishes, grasping a few plates with a wrinkle of her nose. She had just started running the water in the sink when she heard the soft blare of the television in the living room. It would seem that someone had woken up, and as Trish glanced back over her shoulder; she noted it was none other than Lisa Marie. The Canadian Diva sent the California resident a smile before turning back to the dishes in the sink.

"_And in other news today, there was an accident last night in nearby Cameron. Among the victims, is Sanford resident: Amy Dumas. We have been informed that Ms. Dumas has been taken to the Duke University Medical Center in nearby Durham. Ms. Dumas, known to the sports entertainment industry as 'Lita' , has been listed as being in serious condition."_

"Oh my God.."

"_Cameron residents, Matthew and Jeffrey Hardy were also in the vehicle at the time of the accident. According to an eye-witness report, Matthew was driving at the time. The vehicle was sideswiped on the passengers side, sending the car off the road. The witness, who wishes to remain anonymous, also stated that the vehicle then flipped a total of two times before landing . It is with deepest regrets that we say, Matt Hardy died en route to the Duke University Medical Center.. Jeff Hardy is being treated for minor injuries at the Central Carolina hospital here in Cameron."_

A dish dropped from the blonde Diva's hand. "Oh my God.."

Lisa Marie sat up fully on the couch, "We have to find them… we have to see them. I-"

"And we will," Trish confirmed, the Canadian ringing her hands together, "Wake up those guys, I'm gonna wake up Chris and Randy. The sooner we leave here, the better."

The raven haired woman nodded numbly, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Jay.." Lisa paused, poking the man in the shoulder, "Jason.."

"Huh?" he blinked sleepily, "What time is it?"

"Early," the raven haired woman forced a smile, "Come on, rise and shine .. We have to go."

Jason yawned widely, "Why?"

"I'll explain in a minute okay? Help me wake those two up." Lisa gestured between the still sleeping Lillian and John. "Come on Jay, get a move on."

The blonde man rolled his eyes, reaching a foot down to kick the West Newbury native in the side. "John .. Yo, man, wake up!"

"Who the hell-"

"John, come one." Lisa glanced back from the chair, "Wake up, we've gotta go somewhere."

Cena yawned, "It is way too early to be goin' anywhere."

"Why the hell aren't you guys moving yet?" Chris snapped irritably as he made his way downstairs. "Let's go."

"Chris.. Calm down." Trish reprimanded as she and Randy followed behind. "We-"

"We need to get going." Chris snapped back, "I won't sit around here while-"

"Wait a minute," John stretched his arms overhead, "where's the fire? Why are we leavin'?"

The blonde Diva bit her lower lip, "Did you know that Amy never made it home last night?"

Jason raised an eyebrow, "So? She could be staying with Matt or Jeff."

Lisa Marie sighed, "They didn't make it home either."

Lillian blinked then, "What do you mean?"

Trish let out a sigh, "They were in a car accident.. On their way to Cameron I guess and-"

"What happened?"

The blonde Diva blinked through the tears, "Amy's at the Duke University Medical Center in Durham .. Jeff's at the Central Carolina Hospital here in Cameron and.. And.."

"And?" Jay prompted, "What about Matt?"

Lisa Marie swallowed audibly, "Jay .. Matt died on the way to the hospital."

"Which is why we need to go now," Chris reminded them all, "We have to get to Durham and-"

"Chris," Randy interrupted then, "Look I know you're worried about Amy, but .. Think about Jeff."

"Yeah," Lisa wrapped her arms around herself, "Jeff just lost his brother and Amy, well .. What if-"

Lillian sniffled miserably, "We need to be there for both of them."

Jay shook his head, denial written clearly on his features. "You're lying, Trish .. Lisa, this is just some joke right?"

A watery smile crossed the blonde Diva's features. "It was on the news Jay..Lisa and I heard it."

"Then there must've been a mistake." Jay stated shakily, "I mean, Amy's just staying with Matt or Jeff .. That's why she isn't here."

"I'm sorry Jay.." Trish reached out a hand, squeezing his shoulder slightly. "I know how close you all were.."

"Which doesn't explain why we're still standing here." Chris muttered then, "Let's go."

"We'll have betta luck tryin' to get in to see Jeff." John mentioned distantly, "If Ames is in serious, they might only let family members in."

"I don't care," Chris raked his hands through his hair, "I don't care who we see first, hell it could be the Wizard of Oz, I just want to see at least one of my best friends, now."

"Someone should call Shane, Shannon, Stacy .. Dawn.."

"We'll call them at the hospital," Randy offered gently, "Come on, we'll visit Jeff first, then hopefully Amy'll be in better condition and.."

"Whatever," Chris jammed his hands into his pockets, concerned beyond belief for two people that were like family to him. "Let's just go alright?"

………..

The group fell silent, all in various stages of shock, denial and concern. This just couldn't be happening, could it? Jay kept shaking his head, repeating to himself that it wasn't true. That Amy would be standing in the driveway or that Jeff would call at any moment. They were supposed to be going camping that weekend. That was why everyone had stayed overnight at Amy's house. The party had just been last night; Matt had been cracking bad jokes, Jeff had shown off his newest piece of artwork while Amy had spent her time trying not to lose her mind. They couldn't be in the hospital .. Matt was still alive, wasn't he? With a heavy sigh, Jay turned darkened eyes to the sky, pleading silently that his friends were okay. The blonde man offered a half hearted smile as he climbed into the backseat of Lillian's car. It was clear to see that Chris, who was sitting in the passengers seat, was in no condition to drive… and neither was Lisa Marie beside him. He glanced out the window, noting then that Randy was commandeering Trish's car, while John was stretched out in the backseat. Jay could clearly see the tears flowing from the Canadian Diva's face, and the strained expression on Randy's. The West Newbury native, however, was sporting a blank look. Jay watched on as John shifted to accommodate his frame, the blank mask never faltering as he did so.

Granted yes; Randy, Lisa Marie, Lillian and John weren't as close to the Hardy brothers and Amy as he was. But that didn't mean that they didn't belong. The friendship between himself, Jeff, Matt, Amy, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit and Chris Irvine had been forged back when the TLC matches were run, before the WWE got the F out. Those days were gone now, but their friendship still remained tight as ever. Trish had been introduced to their group, and had been accepted quite readily. In particular by Jeff and followed quickly by Amy. Over time, others had been accepted into the small circle, and now that group was pretty much capped. They shared their good times - like the engagement party- and the bad times together. Always together. But what would happen now? That thought ran through Jason's mind non stop as they drove the short distance to the hospital.

"Jay?" Lillian glanced over her shoulder, "We're at the hospital.."

The blonde man forced a smile, "Thanks .. Just thinking that's all."

Lisa Marie smiled half heartedly, "Just keep hoping, .. Things can only get better right?"

"I just want to see them," Jay admitted quietly, "That's all I want at this point."

"Well, sitting in this car won't get us anywhere," Chris muttered impatiently, "Come on, let's go see Jeff."

The raven haired Diva suppressed a frown, but exited the vehicle none the less.

"Trish?" Lillian spoke up when they had all be re-united, "I'll call a few people if you want."

The Canadian Diva nodded absently, "Sure .. That'd be great Lil, thanks."

"They'll be alright Trish," Randy squeezed her hand comfortingly, "I mean we don't even know the extent of Amy's injuries or anything.. And besides, she's tough as nails, I'm sure she'll bounce back from this."

"I know that Randy, it's just.." Trish expelled a heavy sigh, "I'm worried about what it's going to do to Jeff and Amy .. Matt was the glue that kept those two from going insane."

"Then we'll just hafta be stronger for them," Lisa Marie offered sullenly, "We'll get through this.."

Trish could only nod, "Lillian? Can you call Dawn, Eddie and Stacy?"

"Of course," Lillian offered her best smile, "Are you sure you don't want me to call anyone else?"

The Canadian Diva shook her head, "I'll call Shane and Shannon .. That's if they haven't heard already, you know?"

"Who else is there?"

"Aside from us really," Lisa Marie shrugged slightly, "I think that's it .. Though someone should call management and-"

"They'll find out when they find out," Chris reasoned as they stepped inside the hospital. "We're wasting time, lets just go see Jeff."

"Hey kids," Gilbert Hardy greeted them as they entered the lobby. "I didn't know y'all were in the area.."

"We just wanted to see Jeff.." Trish offered quietly, "Gil? I'm sorry…"

He could only nod, "Jeff's sleepin' right now, so I was gonna step out, get some fresh air. He broke a rib or two, had some stitches put in, but aside from that? My boy is okay."

Chris nodded, "We're gonna head over to Durham later .. See if we can't visit Amy."

A broken smile crossed the elder man's face. "I already called her mom .. She's on her way up from Ft. Lauderdale now."

"Can we see Jeff?" Trish questioned hopefully, "I mean I don't want to wake him up or anything, it's just-"

"I'm sure Jeff would love to see his friends." Gil interrupted gently, "Just .. He doesn't know .. 'bout Matt yet."

Trish hesitated before she offered the elder man a hug. "We'll be there for Jeff .. He's family to us."

"Thank you." Gil nodded slightly, "Jeff's on the second floor, third room on the left."

They all nodded then, John and Jay lingering near the back as they trekked upstairs. It was comforting, if only slightly, that they could see Jeff now. But all the same, they still couldn't see Amy. Nor would they ever see Matt Hardy again. For a weekend that had started out so wonderfully, it was really starting to become downright depressing.


	2. All In My Head

**Disclaimer: **I disclaim

**Summary/Spoilers:** See first chapter

**Notes: **I just wanted to say thank you to those who left reviews and to: **KryceksAngelDiva**- yes I realize the prologue is lacking in emotion, it's only a prologue and I do apologize for what it is lacking.. Emotions were kept brief for the prologue because it was merely that, a prologue. Just something to set the stage. I'm not trying to sound defensive, just trying to explain things. I appreciate the C.C. more than you know.

…….

**Chapter 1: All In My Head**

While Trish, Lisa and Lillian were more than eager to see Jeff; Randy, John, Jay and Chris lingered towards the back of the cluster. But then they realized, when the blonde Canadian Diva was ready to enter the hospital room- Jay was nowhere in sight. Chris frowned a touch, letting them all know that he was going to look for the missing individual in their party. At that, Trish nodded, indicating that that they would all be here when he came back. As it were, the blonde Canadian wrestler had a harder trek before him than he thought. Chris had half expected to find Jay in the lobby, or even perhaps in the stairwell. But he was not, and thus Chris exited the hospital to continue his search. First he checked the parking lot, and when that turned up with nothing; he continued to check the outer perimeter of the hospital building. It wasn't until he turned the corner did he find his friend; his back pressed tightly against the wall. His face held in his hands, shoulders slumped.

"Jay?"

"Just leave Chris."

"Look, man, I know-"

"Chris, just go away."

"Jay," Chris inwardly sighed, his arms crossing over his chest as he stood before him. "You aren't the only one who-"

"I know that Chris," his hands slipped from his face; bloodshot eyes glancing upwards. "I know I'm not the only who's worried, I know I'm not the only one who's lost something. But can you just go away?"

A small frown creased at the corners of his mouth, "Hell no, I'm not leaving here without you."

"Damn it Irvine, just go away and leave me alone!"

"Look Reso, we're all worried about Jeff, we're all worried about Amy, we're all worried about what this is going to do Gil, but-"

"Just go away! Amy is fine, Jeff is fine!" Jay shook his head, his hands fisting tightly in his hair. "Matt is fine! He's sitting at home, with Jeff and Amy. He's gonna show up later, and say 'ha ha, I can't believe you all fell for it.' Matt is fine!"

A short sigh escaped Chris's mouth, the blonde man forcing himself to stay calm. "Jay, dude.. Matt's gone."

"No he's not, Chris. Matt is fine."

Chris raked a hand through his hair, "Jay, come on .. You gotta come with me. We're waiting to see Jeff."

Jay shook his head, "Don't you get it? Jeff is at home. I already told you that, he's at HOME."

Chris knelt down, "Jay.."

"Leave me alone Chris!"

Chris gritted his teeth, "I already told you man, I'm not leaving this spot without you."

"We shouldn't even be here Chris, Matt .. Jeff, they're probably waiting for us."

"Jay-"

"They're waiting for us, I know it. Lisa and Trish .. They're lying, this is all a joke. Just a sick, twisted joke."

Chris fell silent, his head bowing slightly.

"Jeff is fine, Matt is fine. Amy's laughing it all up with them."

"Matt is gone."

"NO HE'S NOT!" Jay clutched at the ends of his hair, "Matt is fine."

"Jay, dude, you have to accept it .. Matt is gone."

"If he really is gone, how the hell can you be so calm?" Jay snapped then, his eyes glinting accusingly, "How the hell can you be so calm? He was your friend too wasn't he? How can Trish be so fucking calm?"

"You think I'm not hurting?"

"You sure as hell aren't acting like it."

Chris grasped his friend's shoulders. "Jay, snap out of it! Matt is gone, there's nothing-"

Jay wrenched away from the grip, "You're lying Chris. Matt is fine, just fine. Matt is fine."

"Matt's-"

"At home," Jay looked to the side, "We shouldn't even be here, we have no reason to be here. They're going to leave without us."

"Jay-"

"We should leave… they're waiting for us."

"Jason.."

"They're waiting for us Chris," darkened blue eyes snapped back to the man in question, "They're waiting for us."

"Jay.." Chris shook his head, "Jeff is up in that hospital room, Amy's in-"

"At home." Jay turned his face away again, "they're at home.. Waiting for us."

"Matt is gone," Chris ground out through clenched teeth, "He's gone Jay."

"No he's not!" Jason's eyes snapped dangerously, "HE'S NOT GONE!"

"Jay-"

"Shut up Chris, I'm not listening to your lies. Matt is fine! Jeff is fine, Amy is fine, this is just a joke .. A dream, .. It's all a dream.."

"Jay-"

"Go away Chris, I have to leave, someone has to meet them .. Tell them we're on our way."

"As your friend, Jay-"

"If you're my friend, why are you lying to me?" Jay's body started to rock slowly, his legs curling before him. "You're lying, you .. Trish and Lisa. You're lying."

A low sigh escaped the Long Island native, "Jay, come on .. They're waiting for us upstairs and-"

"Just go away."

Chris shook his head, moving so he was sitting next to him. "Jay, you-"

"You need to leave ME alone! You need to STOP lying to me."

Chris opened his mouth to speak, but cut himself short when another body appeared on the scene.

"Son," Gilbert Hardy stood before the two, his eyes focused blankly on Chris. "Just leave him be."

Jay's eyes snapped to the source of the voice, "They're lying to us Gil, it's all lies.. Just lies. Matt is fine, and so is Jeff .. And Amy's with them, we still need to call Adam and let him know that there's still time for him to join us on the camping trip."

Chris sighed, "Jay-"

"Son," Gilbert shook his head, "leave him be."

The blonde man just shook his head, his own emotions boiling just beneath the surface. Yes he was mad, yes he was concerned and yes .. He felt an overwhelming sense of loss, hell Matt was his friend too. Part of him wanted to believe it was all just a dream, that they would wake up any moment now and see Matt's face, see Jeff's smile and Amy rolling her eyes. Part of him wanted to believe that Matt would be with them any minute now, to say the joke was on them. But they needed to be strong for Jeff, they needed to be strong for Amy..

"Son, come take a walk with me." Gilbert's attention fixated on the still rocking body, "Jay.."

"It's just a dream, just a bad dream .."

Chris raked his hands through his hair, moving from his spot on the wall then. He glanced back over his shoulder, his steps slow as he made his way back inside the hospital.

"Only a dream," Jay's voice continued to rasp, "It's only a dream, I just have to wake up."

"Jason," Gilbert's voice was low, his own eyes bloodshot, "Jason, come on son, take a walk with me."

"We have to see Matt," Jay glanced up to the elder man, "Matt's at home, we have to see Matt."

"Son.." Gilbert rubbed his hands over his forearms, "let's take a walk."

"Only a dream.."

………

The elder man waited, stood off to the side until the blonde Canadian moved from his spot against the wall. In silence, they walked along the perimeter of the hospital building. Jay keeping close contact with the surface of the wall, his shirt catching on a few rough spots as they walked. The blonde man kept to himself, withdrawn from the world .. In the same state as he had been when Chris had found him. It was only a dream, just a sick and twisted dream. Matt, Jeff and Amy were all fine. It was a mistake, his friends were fine. They were at the hospital for nothing. Jeff was sitting on his front porch, Matt would be with him .. And Amy too. They'd all be laughing about how they pulled off the best joke in history. A twisted, demented joke, but a joke none the less. They were fine. They had to be. None the less, they walked on in silence, circling the building twice before they went back inside. Neither man uttered a word, content or seemingly so, in the silence of their sorrow. For his part, Chris made his way back upstairs; the blonde man met with the sight of Lisa and Lillian sitting in the waiting room. Two others had joined them in his absence, the slumped and dejected form of Shane Helms being held close by the blonde ring announcer. Chris glanced towards the hospital room, making his way over there only to stop in his tracks. Shannon Moore was currently in there, along with Trish. From the looks of things, Jeff was still asleep while Shannon was keeping a vigil over his friend.

Chris lingered in the doorway, waiting until Trish had acknowledged his presence. "Jay's .."

"Where is Jay?" Trish wiped away a few tears with the back of her hand, "Chris? Why isn't Jay with you?"

The blonde man sighed, "Why don't you give Shannon some privacy and-"

The Canadian Diva nodded, gently squeezing Jeff's hand before she moved from the hospital chair.

"Jay.." Chris began, the two walking past the group in the waiting room, only to turn the corner. "Jay's not taking this very well.." 'understatement of the year' "He's with Gil."

"Well," Trish sniffled, "Matt and Jeff.. They're like family to him and-"

"I know that," Chris raked a hand over his hair, "Jay doesn't want to believe that Matt's gone.. That Jeff is just down that hallway, that Amy's at the hospital in Durham. He keeps talking about how, we have to leave .. They're all waiting at Matt's house or Jeff's house.." he shook his head, "It's like he's gone Trish, I mean he keeps saying that we're lying to him and-."

"Jay's hurting.." Trish stated quietly, "which is understandable and he should be but-"

"And I'm not? And Shane and Shannon are perfectly okay with this?" Chris slumped down, leaning heavily against the wall. "And Gil is just going to walk away from this like nothing happened? You're telling me that, when Adam finds out .. He's going to be okay with this? That's bullshit Trish."

The Diva sighed, "I'm not saying you guys are okay with this, I'm not saying that everyone is going to be fine… it's just, we need to be strong and-"

"How?" Chris whispered brokenly, his own eyes bloodshot now. "How are we going to be strong, huh? Matt's .. he's never coming back.. Matt's gone.." the blonde man's shoulders slumped dejectedly, "he's gone.."

"Chris-"

"Just leave Trish," his head bowed, knees drawn to his chest, his arms wrapping protectively around his legs. "Just leave."

The Diva bit her lower lip, tentatively reaching out a hand. "Chris-"

Chris jerked away from the touch, "Go away," he hid his head in the crook of his arms. "Just go away."

"You need-"

"I need to be left alone, alright?" his voice faltered then, his shoulders rising and falling with a heavy sigh. "So just leave me alone and go away."

Trish blinked through the tears, "It's okay to cry Chris.."

"Just leave, please."

Her head bowed, the blonde Diva complying reluctantly with his wishes. She wanted desperately to help him, but he wouldn't let her. They were all hurting right now, not just from the states of Amy and Jeff, but the overwhelming fact: Matt was gone.

Lisa glanced up through a curtain of raven locks, the woman seeking out two forms only to be met with the sight of one .. "Where's Chris?"

Trish glanced back to the corner, "Chris wanted some time alone."

"And Jay?"

A sigh escaped the blonde Diva, Trish slumping into a nearby chair. "According to Chris.." she paused to wipe away her tears, "Jay's with Gilbert right now."

The raven haired Diva nodded, "I can't.."

"I know Lisa.." Trish smiled half heartedly, "he lost his son.. Jeff's laying in that hospital bed."

"Matt.." a broken voice whispered, the two women turning their eyes to Lillian and Shane. "Matt cain't be gone.."

Lisa sighed, "How's Shannon?"

"The same," Trish whispered then, "hasn't said a word .. He's just sitting there.. Like no one else is here, I mean, he's watching Jeff, but I don't know if he can see Jeff.."

The California resident nodded, "I think .. I'm going to get a cup of coffee or something.."

The blonde Diva nodded in turn, lifting herself mechanically from the chair. "I'll go with you .. I could use a change of scenery or whatever.."

Lisa nodded, draping an arm over the blonde woman's shoulders. "We'll get through this .. No matter how long it takes."

Trish could only nod in response, tears continuing to trickle from her eyes; some soaking into the fabric of her shirt, others falling silently to the linoleum floor.


End file.
